Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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