i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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