i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My Sexting was not on an AP level
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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