I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
