yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
