I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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