It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
