Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
