Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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