Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize