No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
