is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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