Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
