So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
