i think my mom watched the whole time
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
