Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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