Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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