The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
