He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
