absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
