you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When are your genitals available?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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