god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
