I don't think brook has ever known best
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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