If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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