omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
