Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i think i just lost a toe
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
