; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize