We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
