they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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