Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
