Kareoke will never be a sober sport
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
