Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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