If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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