Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
