I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
