I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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