Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
