oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
