i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
