wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
