You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
