And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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