Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
