It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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