using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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