Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Randomize
