The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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