yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
