if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
