just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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