do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I could fuck to npr.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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