I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize