I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
