She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize