btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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