i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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