Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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