I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
