do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
