She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
