I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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