I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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