I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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